A BABY’S brain has been called “the most
powerful learning machine in the universe,” and for good reason. An infant
enters the world primed to absorb all the sights, sounds, and sensations that
surround him.
Above all, the infant is intrigued by other
humans—their faces, their voices, their touch. The book Babyhood, by
Penelope Leach, states: “Many studies have been made of the sights which
interest an infant most, the sounds which attract and hold his attention, the
sensations he most clearly seeks to repeat. All of these are most frequently
and readily available in the form of an adult care-taking human being.” No
wonder parents play such a vital role in the child’s development!
“I Spoke as an Infant”
Parents and pediatricians alike are astounded
by a newborn’s ability to learn a language by merely listening to it.
Researchers have found that within days, an infant is accustomed to his mother’s
voice and prefers it over that of a stranger; within weeks, he can tell the
difference between the speech sounds of his parents’ native tongue and those of
other languages; and within months, he can sense the junctures between words
and thus tell the difference between normal speech and unintelligible sounds.
The Christian apostle Paul wrote: “When I was
an infant, I spoke as an infant.” (1 Corinthians 13:11, Modern King
James Version) How does an infant speak? Usually with an outpouring of
incoherent babbling. Just noise? Hardly! In her book What’s Going On in
There?—How the Brain and Mind Develop in the First Five Years of Life, Dr. Lise
Eliot reminds us that the act of speaking is “an intricate motor task,
requiring the rapid coordination of dozens of muscles controlling the lips,
tongue, palate, and larynx.” She adds: “While babbling may seem to be just an
enchanting way for babies to get attention, it also serves as a very important
rehearsal for the complex gymnastics of speaking.”
Parents respond to their infant’s babbling
with animated speech of their own, and this too serves a purpose. Exaggerated
speech stimulates the infant to respond. This back-and-forth exchange teaches
the infant the rudiments of conversation—a skill he will use for the rest of
his life.
Shifting Roles
Parents of infants are kept quite busy
responding to their newborn’s everyday needs. Baby cries, and someone is there
to feed him. Baby cries, and someone is there to change him. Baby cries, and
someone is there to hold him. Such pampering is appropriate and necessary. It
is a primary way that parents fulfill their role as caretakers.—1 Thessalonians
2:7.
In view of the above, it is only natural if a
baby believes that he is at the center of the universe and that adults—in
particular, parents—exist solely to do his bidding. That view is flawed but
completely understandable. Remember, for more than a year, that has been the
baby’s reality. In his view, he is the monarch of an empire populated by
big people who were put here to serve him. Family counselor John Rosemond
writes: “It takes just short of two years to create this fantastic impression;
it takes at least sixteen more years to correct it! And that, paradoxically, is
a parent’s job: cause his/her child to believe in this fantasy, then burst—albeit
gently—the child’s bubble.”
At about age two, the bubble does indeed
burst as a parent shifts roles from caretaker to instructor. Now
the baby becomes aware that his parents are not following his lead; instead, he
is being expected to follow theirs. The baby’s monarchy has been
overthrown, and he may not take well to the new regime. Frustrated, he attempts
to hold his ground. How?
Coping With Tantrums
At about two years of age, many babies
exhibit a radical change of behavior, often including fits of bad temper known
as tantrums. This period is so frustrating for parents that it has been termed “the
terrible twos”! Suddenly, the toddler’s favorite expression is “No!” or “I don’t
want to!” He may become frustrated with both himself and his parents as he
struggles with his own conflicting feelings. He wants to be away from you, yet
he wants to be near you. To bewildered parents, little seems to make sense, and
even less seems to work. What is going on?
Well, consider the radical shift that has
taken place in the toddler’s life. Until recently, all he had to do was
whimper, and adults would come running. Now he begins to realize that his “rule”
was only temporary and that he will have to do at least some things for
himself. More and more, he comes to understand that he is in a submissive role,
which can be summed up by the Bible’s statement: “Children, be obedient to your
parents in everything.”—Colossians 3:20.
During this difficult period, parents should
hold on to the reins of authority. If they do so in a firm but loving way, the
child will adjust to his new role. And the stage will be set for further marvels
of growth.
Moral Character
Animals, even machines, can recognize words
and imitate speech. But only a human can step back and examine himself. Thus,
at about two or three years of age, a toddler is able to feel such emotions as
pride, shame, guilt, and embarrassment. These are the first stages toward his
becoming an adult with moral qualities—one who can firmly stand up for what is
right, even when others are doing wrong.
At about this time, parents are thrilled to
experience yet another wonder. Their child is becoming aware of the feelings of
others. Whereas at two years of age, he only played alongside others,
now he may play with them. He also recognizes when his parents feel good
and may want to please them. Thus, he is likely to become more teachable.
More than ever before, a three-year-old is
beginning to learn the concepts of right and wrong, good and bad. Clearly, this
is a time for parents to train their children with the goal of helping them to
become responsible adults.
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